Have you ever wondered why kids cry when they’re learning how to swim?
My daughter thought that diving into the pool was the same as falling down – because, in order for diving to work, her face had to hit the water. Hitting things with your face was a bad thing, right? Like going upside down, and falling down, and smashing your face all at the same time!
Diving was scary and something that she needed to avoid! Of course, we know that water can’t hurt you. Going face first into a pool isn’t something to fear, or to have anxiety about – because we understand how water works. In personal development, aka transformational coaching, the ideas are very similar to learning how to swim. Because what looks scary, impossible and horrible doesn’t have to be – when you understand how things work.
That’s the secret to overcoming fear and anxiety: a deeper understanding that things are never tougher than they are in your mind. Yet there are still things that look…tough. Impossible even. Fear and anxiety keep us from being at our best. How do you overcome fear and anxiety? True personal development doesn’t always arrive with more knowledge.
Chances are you already know what to do. And maybe even know how to do it. Plus, you’ve got an entire internet at your fingertips. So, if there’s something you’re not doing you have to wonder: if knowledge isn’t the problem, what’s your next move in your personal development?
No matter how smart you are…or how much you learn…or google things….there’s something holding you back. Something that doesn’t go away when you learn more stuff.
Think of it this way: if you know all of the rules of boxing, and maybe the entire history of the sport, is that information going to help you when you’re about to get punched in the face?
Understanding the human condition – the way that we work in the world around us – is the focus of true personal development. Transformational coaching looks at the nature of how you can be at your best, overcoming the impossible, in spite of your circumstances.
Coaching looks at what’s missing – and it’s not knowledge. A good coach isn’t going to give you your answers. Because you know where the real answers live: inside of yourself.
There are a bazillion gurus offering a multitude of schemes and patterns, all loaded with a false premise: namely, “match my pattern and you will match my results”. Have you ever taken one of those courses – the ones that show you a six-step process for success – but your results somehow didn’t measure up?
That’s because what worked for someone else may not work for you. I mean, if you have a successful marriage, and you tell me what you do to make it that way, does that mean that if I do the same things then I will have the same results?
No. That’s a false premise.
And that’s why coaching is so important. Because coaching doesn’t offer a pattern, or pat answers. Personal development means really looking at the variables of life, and not expecting a pattern to solve every problem. Transformational coaching looks at the nature of the way things work. So that you can engineer a solution that works for you. It’s life on your own terms. With a blueprint designed by you, with ease and greater understanding of what’s been missing.
You don’t have to stay on the edge of the pool, frustrated and wondering what it’s like to experience life at a new level. To find out how you can experience a new level of understanding – and swim past the fear and anxiety that’s holding you back – maybe it’s time to dive in.
If you want to learn more, schedule a coaching conversation here. Mention this blog post, and let’s talk about the possibilities.