"Solid and authentic connection." Thanks, Chris, for those simple words; they are so important. Authenticity, transparency--people are longing for honesty, for openness, and vulnerability. Is it possible to be honest to a fault? Sure. Will people sometimes take advantage of your vulnerability? It's definitely possible. But the alternative ways make the world seem so bleak. I'm casting my vote for folks like Chris.
Your Guide to Mentalist Mind Reading
Wouldn’t it be great if you had the power to read minds?
You don’t have to be a superhero to access your mind-reading ability. You may already have extraordinary powers, and you don’t even know it! “With great power comes great responsibility”, as Uncle Ben famously said to Peter Parker. Here’s how to read minds like a superhero, and step up to that responsibility in your next conversation.
The best conversation always starts with what your listener is thinking.
And, if you take a moment, you can find out exactly what they are thinking, in two simple steps:
1. Observing: What is going on with your listener, your audience, your coworker or your boyfriend right now? You don’t have to be The Mentalist to tap into your powers of perception – perception, not unlike the elbow, chin or fingernail, is a characteristic that we all possess. Yet rarely do we use it to our advantage.We’re busy reading the last tweet, or wondering what’s for dinner, or who’s the dude that just got on the elevator. Distractions rob us of our super-powers, yet I can confirm that in brightest day or darkest night, you have the ability to see everything that’s going on around you.
What is the mood of your listener? See it. Acknowledge it. Start there.
The best conversation is often the most honest, so stop apologizing, beating around the bush, or saying “um” “uh” and “like“. Authenticity is what we all crave. Do you have the courage, and the ability, to slow down… and really see what’s really happening around you? Are you brave enough to stop looking at your phone and take a long hard look at the people in your life?
Use your innate super power – the power of observation – because your listener deserves it. If you want to get something accomplished, better start off with a solid and authentic connection. Start off by using your new-found power on your most important relationships – the ones that are (supposedly) so important to your family, causes and career. Sometimes, really seeing the person right next to you is the first step to becoming a hero in their eyes. (Think about it. Especially if you have kids!)
2. Recognizing: everyone craves recognition. It’s a simple fact. Whether introverted or extroverted, we all want to be recognized. True, not all of us want to be put in the spotlight, but there is an innate human need to be recognized as human beings, having an intrinsic and important value. We all want to be seen for who we are -nothing more, nothing less – and seen for the contribution we make. Wouldn’t you agree? If you do, and you believe that recognition is important to all of us, why not spread it around? You don’t have to give a parade for your co-workers, shower your team mates with money or throw a party for your spouse. Luckily, recognition is much simpler than that. And sometimes the simplest solution is the most powerful.
Good openers come from a place that says, “I recognize you. I recognize your concerns.” And, if you wish to influence, persuade or create some sort of meaningful change, “I am a solutions provider that could have exactly what you need.”
Take the time to take in your surroundings, and honestly provide some sincere recognition – it’s the most powerful mind-reading trick ever invented, and you already know how to do it.
Don’t make me have to read your mind: Share your thoughts in the comments section! How can you use observation and recognition to become a modern-day mentalist, in your next conversation?
To reach the sort of observation you describe here, I have to practice a sort of deliberate mindfulness. Just as I must be deliberate in observing my own thoughts and feelings, I must be deliberate in my observations of others. It’s not much different than the mindfulness and deliberation required to find some inner peace. I don’t have to do something extraordinary, I just have to get rid of everything else and it’s there! Practicing recognition in the workplace is just as important – and as prone to oversimplification – as it is at home. You’re right; it’s more than just recognizing one trait or accomplishment. That’s easy, and what I default to if I’m not truly paying attention. Seeing the whole person instead of one aspect – a child’s grades; a colleague’s marketing skills – leads to recognizing them as a human being. That may be the hard part for us. Recognizing the humanity of others requires that we let our situational roles drop away, and then we’re exposed as human, too. Good food for thought, and timely, as well. I intend to practice some keener observation and genuine recognition before week’s end.